Day 132 (Living memories)

Mood: She moves me

Mode: Pensees intimes

Thoughts:

Memories don’t live like people do. Whenever I hear this line from Mos Def, I close my eyes for a second and realize just how true it is. I’m a travellin’ man too and I’ve finally come home. And she has come home too. But as much as we are together, in many ways it may feel like we’re apart. And those memories that we’d want to hold on to forever are the ones that’ll slowly become harder to remember. Where we’ve come from. Our travels along the way, as two strangers, two classmates, two friends, two lovers, two parallel worlds and one inescapable truth. I love her and I know our love is just as nascent and in need of replenishment as before. I also know that our love cannot live on memories alone. We need a Present, we need a Now, what we had can never be taken from us but what we need is to find a way to make our love feel the way it felt. The way we feel when we think back to those days. That summer. Together.
In my solitary moments of foolishness, I’ve wanted and wished that things could go back to that easy life, those simple days just so that I could see her more, be with her more, live in her and hold her hand through life, every day. But every day I wake up and look across the trees and the rooftops and imagine her somewhere over there starting off her day without me, living without me. Adjusting has been the hardest part. But I’ve slowly had to get used to this new form of distance that unites our hearts with longing. A distance that makes it easy to fall into the temptation of reminiscing and going through old camera photos and mental images. In a way, it makes one lose sight of the Present. Coming back to Kenya means that we can finally be together, whatever shape this new “being together” will take is for us to create. So let’s make new memories here at home! Granted, they’ll be different and not as grandiose or spectacular as summers spent back-packing through Europe. But whatever memories we make here will still be ours to hold on to and hopefully to build upon in years to come.

———-

Now playing: Alicia Keys ft. Drake – ‘Unthinkable’

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One thought on “Day 132 (Living memories)

  1. Pingback: Day 176 (On the verge of…) « thoughts and sparkles…

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