Day 108 (I Should Have Known Better..)

Mood: Purple

Mode: la tempête..

Thoughts:

I Should Have Known Better…

Knowing better doesn’t mean I won’t make mistakes.
Knowing better doesn’t mean I forgot all that you know I know.
Knowing better doesn’t mean I chose not to do instead of to do or just decided not to chose.
Knowing better doesn’t mean I’m a hypocrite for saying I still care.
Knowing better doesn’t mean I’m a liar for saying it’ll never happen again.
Knowing better doesn’t mean I’m a fool for believing we can get through this.
Knowing better doesn’t mean I’m back to the old me who didn’t know any better.
Knowing better doesn’t mean I’m trying to explain or asking you to understand.

Knowing better is realizing that ‘knowing’ itself carries responsibilities.
Knowing better is putting yourself in her shoes.
Knowing better is admitting you weren’t there when you were needed.
Knowing better is imagining how alone and hurt she felt.
Knowing better is living with yourself knowing what you did and didn’t do.
Knowing better is re-reading and re-analyzing every word she wrote.
Knowing better is replaying the argument over and over in your head.
Knowing better is admitting you have no excuses to make.
Knowing better is accepting you f**ked up
Knowing better is watching her drift away.
Knowing better is wishing it didn’t have to be you.
Knowing better is blaming it on something else.
Knowing better is saying sorry knowing it wont change sh*t.
Knowing better is saying sorry anyways because you mean it.
Knowing better is stepping back and seeing the damage you’ve caused.
Knowing better is hoping things get better.
Knowing better is praying things don’t get worse.
Knowing better is being afraid.
Knowing better is feeling ashamed.
Knowing better is lying to yourself that she’ll take you back.
Knowing better is not knowing what’s going to happen next.
Knowing better is getting a taste of your own medicine.
Knowing better is questioning whether you deserve a second chance.
Knowing better is putting your fate in her hands.
Knowing better is remembering that she’ll never forget.

————

Now playing: De La Soul ft Carl Thomas – ‘It’s Like That’

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One thought on “Day 108 (I Should Have Known Better..)

  1. Pingback: Day 176 (On the verge of…) « thoughts and sparkles…

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