Day 32 (Ego)

Mood: Calm

Mode: Touchscreen

Thoughts: Male v. Female

« Its too big, its too wide, its too strong, it wont fit.. its too much, its too tough.. »

I’m sure I was not the only one who was thinking what I was thinking when I first heard this lyric. But I digress. Those words are actually in the chorus of Beyonce’s song ‘Ego’ from her ‘I Am Sasha Fierce’ album. Speaking of Miss Knowles/ Mrs Carter, I didnt stay up to watch the grammy’s last night but I was pretty sure she would have a great night seeing as she was nominated for a staggering 6 grammy awards including top honours i.e. Album of the Year. But apparently she didn’t get that coveted Album of the Year grammy.
Tough luck Bey, I’m guessing Kanye West wasnt there to interrupt Taylor Swift like he did last year, huh?

Let’s go back to this ‘Ego’ song, it interests me.

I still don’t get why some women refuse to admit that their egos are just as fragile if not more fragile than our egos. I realise that alot of the focus has always been on the male ego, naturally. But to my mind, the female ego is just as fragile as the male ego for reasons that may not be as well discussed, researched, or documented as is the case for the male ego.

First off, women are in precarious position when it comes to their egos. For those women who are percieved to be full of themselves, they end up having all sorts of beef with other females. As for males, we’d just call you a stuck-up b* and ignore you. But at the same time, for women, having an ego is more than just pride, its also about protection and self-preservation especially where men are concerned. I get that. But when the female ego is bruised, she turns her into a totally different person and the guy is left there like….huh?

Let’s take rejection, for instance. The kind of rejection I’m talking about is when you turn down a woman’s advances, whether its on principle or for whatever other reason. Since the time of Adam and Eve, determining when and how sex takes place has always been the exclusive preserve of the woman so when she decides she wants it and you turn her down (repeatedly), that crushes her ego completely. This is not the case for men. We’re used to rejection. It’s part of the chase, the hunt, the thrill of it all. You go in knowing full well that it doesnt matter who she is to you or who you’d want her to be to you, she could still reject you and act like nothing ever happened. Our egos dont get bruised over that. We just move on and c’est la vie quoi.
But for women, rejection becomes almost personal. In fact it’s more than personal. The funny thing is that you could be completely blameless in the whole thing, for instance if you’re operating under the assumption that y’all were strictly platonic, then next thing you find yourself being taken in a completely different direction. Rejecting that woman’s advances unleashes a whole different side of her that would frighten Medusa, not to mention the cold shoulder and silent treatment you’ll get after that. Forever. This reaction in itself lends credence to my theory that women will only have platonic male friends that they assume find her ‘interesting’ (read: attractive). Ofcourse, women’s reaction to rejection is quite understandable. I mean, if I was a woman and my whole life I grew up being told that my virtue is sacred and that I should keep it pure and only offer it to the man I intend to marry, then ofcourse I’d be pissed as hell if I offered it to you and you had the nerve to turn me down. I’d feel insulted. AND I’d think you’re gay. So yeah, my ego would be seriously bruised.

To sum up, I’ve come to acknowledge that the female ego does indeed exist and must be handled with care just as is the case with the male ego. So, since women claim to be constantly stroking my..uhm.. ego to make me feel like a man, I’ll make a conscience effort to do the same…for them. If you’re a female friend, the most I can do for you is throw you a compliment once in a while to get you to feel good about yourself and make your day a little brighter. If you’re my woman, I’ll go out of my way to make you feel secure and loved no matter what you may be going through. And as my woman, I’d expect you to do the same for me and my ‘fragile’ ego.

That is all.

Now Playing : Viktor Vaughn – ‘ Let Me Watch’

2 thoughts on “Day 32 (Ego)

  1. I think one issue [some of us] have as women is that we can’t handle ‘things’ as well as we think we can. I mean we ask ‘Am I fat?’ or ‘Is she pretty’ then get pissed at the answer. In the same way, we demand gender equality then get upset by the backlash.

    Now I’m all for equal opportunities, but, see, when I insist that I want to be a carpenter or mechanic and wear a hard hat ‘just like the boys’ but still expect them to go easy on me because I will be a parent in three months, that’s not equal at all.

    And, when I insist on chasing boys because ‘it’s an equal world’ then I should man up and take rejection with an embarrassed smile, just like the guys do. I’m just saying…

  2. Well clearly you understand the definition of equality, that’s needless to say impressive. As for the female ego, it exists and to be honest, I think it’s bigger than the male ego. If the male ego was so large and out of control I don’t think we’d ever be willing to place ourselves in a position to have that ego bruised. Some women on the other hand rest their ego in the shadows, never to be exposed to rejections or defeat. If that ideology isn’t all about ego, I don’t know what is…

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