Thoughts: Inspired in part by CB’s latest post.
“Nooo, nooo…he’s like my brother! Ewww”
That’s what she said to you, right? Then again that’s what all women say about their platonic male friends. Ever cared to know what your platonic male friend thinks about you and how he really feels about your platonic friendship? I’m a guy like him so I’m qualified to speak on such matters. But unlike him, I’m not going to hide it from you or mince my words on this. Long story cut short, if he’s hanging around you a lot more than he should, checking up on you and sh*t, buying you sh*t, always there if you need a shoulder to cry on, he’s definitely thought of hitting that. And that fact alone, by definition, makes your friendship far from platonic. Ideally a platonic relationship, from a guy’s point of view, should be like the relationship he would have with his opposite gender sibling. Normal men don’t have any sexual attraction to their sisters. However, the reality is that normal men DO have a sexual attraction to their female friends. In fact, by our very nature, most normal men are conditioned to categorise women (yes, ALL women) as follows:
1. Women I’d never shag.
2. Women I’ve shagged but have no interest in shagging again.
3. Women I’ve shagged and would happily shag again.
4. Women I haven’t shagged yet but would love to.
Don’t argue with this, its science.
Why do you think women get so jealous about her man’s platonic female friends? It’s because she knows that if her man and her platonic female friend were ever alone together, there’s a higher chance of her turning down his advances than the other way round i.e. her man saying ‘No’ to her advances. It follows from this, ladies, that your platonic male friend had already categorised you in either #3 or #4 in the above list. But you already know all this. He’ll always hint, ever so subtly or not, and what do you do? You friend-zone him. Which is cool because it gets him to back off. Or so you think.
But what I’ve always wondered is why women still find comfort in the notion of a platonic friend at the same time deep inside you are convinced that “all men are the same” including your guy friends and therefore never really believe them to be purely platonic anyway. Meanwhile a part of you, LIKES the idea of this…that your male friend, the one you run to and b*tch to about your own lover, would gladly bed you if given half a chance. Because it is in those moments of feeling unappreciated by your significant other that you get mad vulnerable and your vanity gets the best of you. You’re looking for evidence that you are special, you are beautiful and you are damn desirable. Innit? And you like knowing that you could, with the snap of your fingers, cross the line with him with little or no resistance from him, the very same man you were just a minute ago calling your “platonic friend”. It’s obvious that there is a small (or large) part of you that likes to KNOW that you could if you wanted to shag your best male friend if you so desired. It is in those moments that, all of a sudden, you wish you were more physically attracted to him, that you start giving him desirable traits that he doesn’t really even have, that you start letting your mind wander about things you have long fought off and suppressed. It is in those moments that your own assurance that things are strictly platonic become questionable even for a millisecond.
And that’s all it takes.
I’m just trying to understand… Platonic?
Now playing- A Tribe Called Quest – ‘Find My Way’