What She Really Meant To Say Was…

mv

I believe Oscar Wilde said it best: “Women are meant to be loved, not understood”.

Nonetheless, I must say I found this list below thoroughly illuminating on the double-entendres in femalespeech.

Here goes:

“Nothing’s wrong” = “You pissed me off and I don’t feel like talking about it but if you ask me again with more concern, I’ll tell you..”

“I had a bad day” = “Just give me a hug and I’ll feel slightly better.”

“No” = “You may be able to convince me otherwise if you do that thang I love so much. You know…”

“I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s” = “If you don’t at least acknowledge it, you’re dead.”

“I LOVE sports” = “I know the rules and all and I’ll watch it if there’s NOTHING else on! Besides, I just like that jersey of yours.”

“Are you busy?” = “I don’t really care I’m going to ask whatever I have to ask you anyways.”

“What would you like for dinner?”= “Not that I give a dang because I’m making Chicken regardless.”

“Thanks for the flowers, their beautiful”= “I know you did something wrong so hurry up and tell me, before i get mad.”

“Yeah, I miss you too.”= “I love the attention you show me, but I’m still on the fence regarding my feelings for you. But, hey, a girl’s gotta eat.”

“You don’t have to get me anything for my birthday/Christmas. Once you pass a certain age, that stuff doesn’t matter”= “I suggest, that if you wish to continue thinking of yourself as my “man,” that you don’t be no damn fool. When the other women start discussing the gifts they got, it really ain’t no thing for me to start talking about how i cussed you out and broke up with you.”

“I’m sorry. *giggle* I always get giggly when someone tries to kiss me.” = Don’t touch me.

“No, it’s fine.”= “Note to self: strike one.”

“It’s cool. Don’t worry about it.” = “Dang, can’t you do anything right?”

“I’m not looking for a relationship”= “I’m talking to several guys and I haven’t decided which one I like the best, so I’m going to continue dating you all at once.”

“I think I have to work/something to do”= “I don’t want to go out with you.”

“I’m kind of busy”= “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“What time is it?”(in mid-conversation) = “You are boring me. Can I leave now?”

“I have a boyfriend” = “I just don’t like you.”

“I don’t think we’re compatible”= “You’re friend is cute. Is he single?”

“I gotta pee” (in mid-confrontation) = “I wasnt really listening to you and I dont care what you have to say”

“Perhaps you should wear…….(x,y,z)”= “I am trying to put you on to what I like instead of that nonsense that you have on at this current time. Because I am NOT gonna be seen out with you looking like THAT.”

“No really, I think you’d look good in….” = “Get with the programme already or else I’ll find someone who will.”

“I came already.”“the sex was great and all, but I am tired, so get off me so we can go to sleep.”

“Oh Reaally”? = “Keep talking, you’re only digging yourself a deeper hole.”

“Whatever” = “I really wanna say some choice words to you, but I don’t feel like fighting so I’m going to ignore you now and let you keep talking until you shut up.”

F I N.

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Now Listening to: Avant – Read Your Mind

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